“You and I” or “You and Me”? How To Use Nominative and Objective Pronouns
November 12, 2024
If you went to the grocery store with your roommate, would you say “He and I went” or “He and me went”? And if your friend graciously offered to drive you both, would you say “They drove him and I” or “They drove him and me”?
The real question I’m asking here is when do you need a NOMINATIVE pronoun, and when do you need an OBJECTIVE one? If you can answer that, you’ll never mix up “I” and “me” again!
(Spoiler alert: Skip down to the section called “The Foolproof Solution” for a super easy test that will help you get it right every single time!)
The Basics
Each pronoun has an objective form and a nominative (or subjective) form. When the pronoun serves as the subject of a sentence, you need the nominative form. When it’s the object, you need the objective form.
Here’s a look at the nominative and subjective forms of each personal pronoun:
Check out the sentence below to see the difference between nominative and objective pronouns. The first pronoun in the sentence is the subject, so the nominative form is required. The second pronoun is the object of the sentence, which means you need the objective form.
We can try inserting various pronouns to make sure that we have the correct forms:
I visited her. — “I” is a nominative pronoun and “her” is an objective pronoun, so this sentence is correct.
Us visited they. — “Us” is an objective pronoun and “they” is a nominative pronoun, so these pronouns are not correct.
They visited us. — We swapped the pronouns to get the nominative one in the subject spot and the objective one in the object spot, so this is correct!
Now, let’s look at some common mix-ups with nominative and objective pronouns.
“Someone and I” or “Someone and Me”?
Now we know that we need “someone and I” when it’s the subject of a sentence and “someone and me” when it’s the object (since “I” is a nominative pronoun and “me” is an objective pronoun). The object includes direct objects of verbs (e.g., “visit her in the hospital”), indirect objects of verbs (e.g., “text me your reply”), and objects of prepositions (e.g., “that makes sense to me”).
One of the most common mix-ups with personal pronouns is using a nominative pronoun when an objective one is required.
That present is for Sally and I.
The pronoun “I” is incorrect because it’s a nominative pronoun functioning as an object in the sentence. The objective “me” is required instead.
That present is for Sally and me.
Contact the HR representative and I when you’ve finished the training.
The same problem is present in this sentence—”I” (which is a nominative pronoun) is being used as an object.
Contact the HR representative and me when you’ve finished the training.
TOP TIP: The phrase “between you and I” is almost never correct. “Between” is a preposition, which makes the pronouns that follow it objects of the preposition. Since they’re objects, you’ll need the objective form: “between you and me.”
It’s common to see the nominative form where the objective form is actually needed (as in the examples above), but the reverse could also be true: Sometimes, people toss in an objective form when really they need the nominative.
My mom hates it when my siblings and me argue.
Here, “me” is the subject of “argue,” so the nominative (i.e., subjective) form is required.
My mom hates it when my siblings and I argue.
The Foolproof Solution
There’s one super easy way to tell if you need the nominative or objective form of a pronoun: take out the other noun and see if the sentence still sounds correct!
Let’s use it to check the examples in the previous sentence:
That present is for Sally and I.
Remove the other noun—”Sally”—and check the sentence:
That present is for I.
That doesn’t sound right, so try again with the objective form “me”:
That present is for me.
Much better! Now we know we need the objective “me”:
That present is for Sally and me.
EXAMPLE #2:
Contact the HR representative and I when you’ve finished the training.
Remove the other noun—”HR representative”—and check it again:
Contact I when you’ve finished the training.
That sounds strange, so let’s try the objective “me”:
Contact me when you’ve finished the training.
Perfect! Now we can add the other noun back in.
Contact the HR representative and me when you’ve finished the training.
EXAMPLE #3:
My mom hates it when my siblings and me argue.
Remove the other noun:
My mom hates it when me argue.
Yeah, that sounds weird. Let’s try the nominative “I” instead:
My mom hates it when I argue.
Looks much better!
My mom hates it when my siblings and I argue.
This trick of removing the other noun is a practically foolproof test to make sure you get the correct pronoun form every time!
“It’s Me” or “It’s I”?
When someone asks, “Who is it?” should you say, “It’s me” or “It’s I”?
The answer might freak you out a little: technically speaking, the correct response is “It’s I.”
The official rule is that, after a form of the verb to be, the nominative pronoun case should always be used. Here are the various forms of the verb to be:
- be (root form)
- am, is, are (present tense)
- was, were (past tense)
- been (past participle)
- being (present participle)
So after any of those words, make sure you’re using the nominative (subjective) form of the pronoun!
Just a note: this is the official rule, but it might sound overly formal in some contexts. If you’re knocking on your best friend’s door and they ask who it is, it will certainly sound stuffy to say “It is I,” so in a casual context like that, don’t let the rules make it weird. 😂
“Older than Me” or “Older than I”?
With a comparison like “older than me” vs. “older than I,” the nominative form of the pronoun is also required.
You use the nominative form because it’s assumed that you really mean “older than I [am],” which makes “I” a subject. The “am” might be missing, but it’s still implied, so the subjective “I” is used.
She was more prepared for the test than I. (The implied meaning is “She was more prepared for the test than I was.”)
My sister is book-smart, but my brother has always been more street-smart than she. (The implied meaning is “My brother has always been more street-smart than she [is].”)
Do you have any questions about nominative and objective pronouns? Drop them in the comments and I’ll find an answer for you!
Sources:
- The Chicago Manual of Style. 17th ed. Chicago, IL: The University of Chicago Press, 2017.
- Ebbitt, D. R., and W. R. Ebbitt. Index to English. 8th ed. New York: Oxford University Press, 1990.
- Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage. 14th ed. Taunton, MA: QuadGraphics, 2016.