“Mrs.” vs “Ms.” vs “Miss”: What’s the Difference?

Titles like “Mrs.,” “Ms.,” “Miss,” and “Mr.” are called courtesy titles, and they’re used before someone’s name to show respect to that person. “Mr.” is, of course, the only masculine title on that list, leaving not one, not two, but THREE feminine titles to choose from. So how do you know which one to use for each person?

It’s important to note right up front here that courtesy titles and their distinctions were much more popular in the past than they are now. Throughout the 1800s and most of the 1900s, everyone knew the difference between “Mrs.” and “Miss,” and they would have been shocked to hear them mixed up. When “Ms.” came about a bit later than the other two, it actually caused quite the controversy.

So just be warned that you’ll see a pattern with each title’s explanation that will sound something like “here’s what it used to mean, and here’s how it’s used now”!

Mrs.

“Mrs.” is used for a woman who is married or is a widow. It’s short for “Missus.”

In the past, it would have been common to see this title used before the woman’s husband’s first and last name (e.g., if Jill married Joe Smith, Jill might be called “Mrs. Joe Smith”). This practice isn’t very common now, but you might still see it from some older folks! My grandma has addressed a letter to me in this way, but that’s about the only time I’ve personally been called by my husband’s first and last name.

These days, we still use “Mrs.” to refer to a married woman, but it should only be used when you’re sure of the woman’s marital status and when she does not go by another title, such as “Dr.” or “Lady.”

Some divorced women prefer to retain their “Mrs.” title, and others prefer to use “Ms.”—the best way to know which to use is to ask the woman in question.

Miss

Traditionally, the only two feminine titles were “Mrs.” and “Miss,” and since “Mrs.” was used for married women, I bet you could guess who “Miss” was for. In the past, “Miss” was the title used for all unmarried women, regardless of their age. It is not abbreviated (there’s no period after it).

Today, “Miss” is reserved for young women, like children, teenagers, and students. The practice of using “Miss” for an older, unmarried woman is seen as dated and potentially misogynistic (why distinguish women by their marital status when the same doesn’t happen to men?).

Here’s the problem, though: If “Mrs.” is still reserved for married women and “Miss” isn’t appropriate to use for adult unmarried women . . . what title should you use for an adult unmarried woman? And what do you do if you don’t know someone’s marital status at all? That’s where “Ms.” comes in!

Ms.

“Ms.” is the title that should be used when a woman’s marital status is unknown or when the woman prefers not to indicate her marital status with her title. It’s the neutral title that does not indicate marital status at all.

It’s alright to use “Ms.” for anyone really, but it’s especially appropriate for adult women who are not married, women who are divorced, and married women who have chosen to retain their maiden name. It can be used for women of any age.

I always thought “Ms.” and “Miss” were pronounced the same, but I learned in my research for this post that “Ms.” should actually be pronounced “miz.”

“Ms.” came about later than “Mrs.” and “Miss.” It was first introduced as early as 1901, but it really started to get popular around the 1950s when feminist issues were gaining traction.

When and Why Ms. Came About

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary of English Usage, “Ms.” is a blend of “Miss” and “Mrs.” and was originally created for business use, when people were addressing letters and didn’t know whether the woman they were addressing was married or not.

Apparently, a neutral title like this was imagined as early as the 1750s—the Dictionary of English Usage cites a 1754 text “in which the writer wishes such a term existed.” It took a little longer (a couple of centuries longer) for the title to actually come about.

This excerpt from the Dictionary of English Usage provides more insight into the history of “Ms.”:

Once Ms. began to be used with some frequency, the feminist movement adopted it as a desirable honorific because, like Mr., it was unmarked for marital status. The result of this adoption was a certain amount of controversy, most of it of the unenlightening variety. Bolinger 1980 quotes a woman who says that Ms. has come to be associated with divorcees, widows, business women, feminists, and some others of questionable social status, and that this has reduced its usefulness. Our evidence does not support this judgement. On the contrary, we believe that the use of Ms. has become so widespread that it is now the standard form to use, especially in business correspondence, when a woman’s marital status is unknown or irrelevant to matters at hand. One notable piece of evidence for the general acceptance of Ms. is that The New York Times, after years of believing that Ms. was not part of common usage, adopted its use in 1986 for references to women whose marital status is unknown or whose preference for Ms. is known.

Whether “Ms.” was ever truly controversial can be debated, but these days, it’s a widely-accepted and popular title for all women, married or not.

A Fourth Option: Mx.

There’s actually an even NEWER title: “Mx.”

“Mx.” is a gender-neutral title that also does not indicate marital status. It came about as early as the late 1970s and is now most commonly used by people who do not want to be identified by their gender. It’s pronounced “miks” or “muhks” (Grammarly).

I haven’t seen “Mx.” used in practice very much yet, but “Ms.” took a while to catch on, too, so we might see it become more common in the future.

What About “Madam” and “Ma’am”?

“Madam” is actually a French courtesy title. It’s essentially the French equivalent of “Mrs.,” but in English, it’s only used in very formal addresses. You might hear it for a woman in a position of power, as in “Madam President.”

The contracted version of “Madam,” “ma’am,” is much more common. “Ma’am” is a respectful title that can be used for any woman but is especially relevant for a woman whom you are not familiar with.

When In Doubt . . .

If you don’t know which title to use, use “Ms.” It’s the safest, most neutral title. It doesn’t specify age or marital status, and it’s more well-known than “Mx.”

How Relevant Is This Anyway?

These days, people are getting away from using courtesy titles altogether. Newspapers and other media sources usually don’t use them at all unless they’re quoting another source. People just don’t usually want to be categorized by their marital status!

Should You Ever Spell Out the Title?

This is a quick and easy answer: No! You never need to spell out courtesy titles like “Mrs.” and “Mr.” when they come before a person’s name. There isn’t even a spelled-out version of “Ms.” (it’s just the combination of “Mrs.” and “Miss”).

The only time you might spell out a title is when it’s used without a name. For example, you might say “Excuse me, Mister,” or “Thank you, Doctor.”

What questions do you have about courtesy titles? Let me know in the comments, and I’ll do my best to find an answer!

Click here to find out when words like “mom” should be capitalized!

Sources:

• The Chicago Manual of Style. 17th ed. Chicago, IL: The University of Chicago Press, 2017.
• Einsohn, Amy. The Copyeditor’s Handbook. 3rd ed. Berkeley and Los Angeles, California: Univ of California Pr, 2011.
• Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage. 14th ed. Taunton, MA: QuadGraphics, 2016.
• Ginger. “Ms. vs. Mrs. vs. Miss.” The Correct Way to Use Each | Confusing Words. Accessed May 22, 2025. https://www.gingersoftware.com/english-online/spelling-book/confusing-words/ms-mrs-miss.
• “Learn the Difference: ‘Miss,’ ‘Mrs.,’ ‘Ms.,’ and ‘Mx.’” Grammarly, May 8, 2023. https://www.grammarly.com/blog/commonly-confused-words/ms-mrs-miss-difference/.